Writing Assignment #1a: Focused Revision

for Blocks A & B: due 9/6/07
for Blocks C, D, and E: due 9/7/07

The Justin Wells mantra (which you may have heard from past English teachers as well) is “writing is rewriting.” To succeed this year, you must embrace this concept. First drafts can always be improved, and throughout the year, you must demonstrate to me and your peers what you have done to improve your work and why. This writing exercise gives you some practice with this.

Take a slice from your American Dream essay—at the very least, one full paragraph—and revise it into a better experience for your reader.

The nature of your revision will depend on what sorts of things you need to work on in your piece; that might mean flow, organization, transitions, precision of word choice, clarity of thought, specificity, persuasiveness, logic, entertainment value, or, most typically, some combination of these.

Here is what you need to turn in next class:

a copy of your revision—either an entire essay or an excerpt. (If just a part is revised then please mark what it is.)
one paragraph explaining your revision process: What kinds of changes did you make and how did they make the piece stronger? (This can be attached separately or included on the same sheet as your revision.)
the original copy of your essay

Here are some approaches to consider:

Punch up your intros and conclusions: Important parts of any writing that are difficult to get right the first time
Add specific details: Instead of “a fancy car,” how about “a black Mercedes.” Readers like writing that is visual.
Acknowledge an alternate viewpoint: Readers trust writers who look at all the options.
Work on transitions: How well are you guiding the reader through the logic of your thinking? Pepper your writing with helpful phrases such as “for example,” “on the other hand,” or “however.”
Take a stand: It’s tempting to state positions that no one can disagree with, but you will end up with something that is not very tempting to read.
Read out loud for flow: Readers may read silently most of the time, but the writer’s voice is playing in their heads. What does your voice sound like to them? The only way to know is to read out loud.
Fix the grammar: It’s just common courtesy to keep things clean. That goes for your prose. Proofread.

Posted by Justin Wells : 09/08/2007